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‘Madame Web’ Reviews are Hilariously AWFUL

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The reviews are in, as Madame Web, the latest movie from Marvel Studios, released in theaters across the country.

It stars Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney and Adam Scott, among others.

This strong cast leads a film that is summarized as follows by IMDB:

Cassandra Webb develops the power to see the future. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she forges a relationship with three young women bound for powerful destinies, if they can all survive a deadly present.

Sounds promising, right? Well…

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Dakota Johnson attends the world premiere of Madame Web at Regency Village Theatre on February 12, 2024 in Los Angeles. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

‘Madame Web’ Reviews: What Marvel Fans & Critics Are Saying

The movie is based on a popular comic book, too, and yet… initial reviews for Madame Web are BAD.

Horrible. Terrible.

We’re talking SO incredibly abysmal that we sort of want to go see Madame Web now just to bask in its apparently historical awfulness.

Just consider what the following critics are saying about this movie…

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Four main cast members in Madame Web pose here at the global opening. (GETTY)

“Madame Web isn’t as bad as you’ve heard. It’s so much worse”. — Rolling Stone

“On the basis of Madame Web, Sony’s Spider-Man Universe is now completely lifeless—and in no need of resuscitation.” — The Daily Beast

“Madame Web is one of these recently exhumed efforts. The film… has as much energy as an employee subjected to an ice breaker during a corporate retreat. It is an airless and stilted endeavor driven by a mechanical screenplay. Its lack of imagination would be astounding if it wasn’t so expected.” — The Hollywood Reporter

“Nobody in this movie pops, or crackles, or snaps, or finds ways to energize the blah blah. The action’s not much; the acting’s minimalist bordering on somnambulant.” — The Chicago Times

“The struggle to find anything positive is a fruitless endeavor. Madame Web disappoints in every regard.” — MovieWeb

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Tahar Rahim and Dakota Johnson attend the Madame Web photocall at Claridge’s Hotel on January 31, 2024 in London. (Photo by Jeff Spicer/Getty Images for Sony Pictures)

The Worst Review For ‘Madame Web’ Are Just Hilarious!

Variety, for its part, writes that “Madame Web feels like a cross between an extended soda commercial and a teaser trailer for still more spinoffs.

“But you don’t have to be a soothsayer to see this particular franchise is D.O.A. — or a snob to expect better.”

From what we can gather, Madame Web is expected to make $30 million to $35 million after its Wednesday release and therefore have the lowest-ever domestic opening for a Sony Spider-Man movie.

As of this writing, the film has a dismal 17% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Yes, that’s out of 100.

We’ll go ahead and give the final negative words here to the website UPI, which wrote this week:

“Madame Web is bad in ways even debacles like Catwoman and Batman & Robin never broached.

Those movies had laughably misguided explorations of cat and bat powers, but Madame Web struggles to even explain its premise.

(But) at least Catwoman and Batman & Robin believed in what they were doing.

They were wrong, but Madame Web just feels like a cynical copy of the bare minimum to qualify as a comic book movie.”

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